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Scott Storch-Brilliant Producer or Dead Beat Dad?

His baby mamma, Dae Daniel Esquire, on the other hand, knew exactly what she was doing when she got knocked up by the music producer—her net worth was estimated at $21,000 before giving birth to Jalen. That’s like what she’ll make in 3 months just from totting the little guy around. Go gold diggers!

Speaking of gold diggers, is it just us, or are men the new Anna Nicole Smiths? Sure, tons of guys like Scott Storch have been dug by poor, greedy, fertile females. But with the decline of chivalry and a whole new breed of whiny, tight-pants-wearing, emo guys who can't do anything for themselves, guys are getting in on this sleazy easy way to the top. K-Fed!? How about Cash Warren? We miss real macho males. The kind that open doors and make good moolah on their own.

Storch

David Spade-Next in Line for Child Support Payments?

That's right, overcompensate with humor. If you look like the Spade, go to improv classes, make a ton of funny movies, which will in turn give you a ton of money, which will in turn get you laid by a Playboy bunny, which will in turn give you life long bragging rights and proof of your conquest in the form of ridiculous child support payments and a mini-you!

In all honesty, we like David Spade. Truly, we do. We just wouldn't ever touch him. Maybe a hug or a handshake. He would automatically be put in the "friend" zone, because he seems kind of...dirty. And short. Unless you're super short. Hey, if you're 5'4" like the average American woman, maybe things could work out between you two. In fact, he's the same height as Tom Cruise. And some girls like that Scientologist freak.

Anyway, study the below photos, and if you see any similarities between you and Spade, do as paragraph one suggests. If you look like the woman in photo #2, hook up with an average-looking Hollywood star, and you'll never have to pose nude again! Unless, of course, you want to.

Spade

Jillian

Rachel Bilson—She’s Back…And Hotter than Ever!

We’ve got to hand it to her, the girl’s got class. Halle Berry, on the other hand, will flaunt it whenever she gets the chance. Keep some things mysterious, girl!

Ever see the movie, Knocked Up? Remember when Seth Rogen's character was making a website that would list every celebrity nude scene in every movie and the approximate time of their appearance? Well we're not going to do that. But here's a list of a few celebrities who have done films in their birthday suits, you know, for the art of film making:

Halle Berry (Swordfish)
Denise Richards (Wild Things)
Charlize Theron (in 3 different films! Devil's Advocate, Reindeer Games, Head in the Clouds)
Meg Ryan (In the Cut)
Kate Beckinsdale (Uncovered)
Nichole Kidman (Eyes Wide Shut)

Bilson

How Tall Are Your Favorite Celebs?

Did you know J. Lo is only 5’5”? Or that Madonna, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Shania Twain are only 5’4”! Dolly Parton and Danny DeVito bottom out the charts at a mere 5 feet tall. There’s hope for you in Hollywood if you’re on the short side--somebody had to play R2D2!

And just for comparison:

The average model is a minimum of 5'8" and 108-125 lbs.

The average American woman is about 5'4" and 163 lbs.

So if you don't look like the girls in the magazines, on the catwalk, or in the movies, don't worry. You shouldn't. Most of the models are 15 years old anyway. You probably weighed between 108 and 125 when you were prepubescent too. Keira Knightley (5'7") probably weighs about 100 lbs, while Oprah, who is the same height as the British star, is making the average female proud with her 163 lb frame. Of course, her weight fluctuates so much there's no telling what she'll look like tomorrow.

Matthew McConaughey to be a Dad!

Looks like everything’s turning up roses for Matt—he recently posed on the cover of Glamour magazine (see below). He also has a film, Fools Gold, coming out in about a month that’ll reunite him with Kate Hudson. We hope their on screen chemistry stays on screen, or maybe we don’t. We’d love some juicy scandals in the near future!

In fact, the featured interview between the two in Glamour was transcribed from a tape-recorded session in which Matt and Kate interview each other. Their chemistry is explosive,even on paper. (Despite the fact that a lot of the conversation is about how everyone always thinks they're involved when they're really not.) We're just gonna say that if we were Camila, we'd keep a close eye on Matthew and Kate whenever they're together. There's no telling what two free spirits like that will get up to when left alone at a beach house in Malibu!

Amy Winehouse is An Albino Coked-Out Freak

Winehouse was super late for her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil’s court hearing, in which he was tried for a pub brawl—there were only 5 minutes left when she showed up. Trying to make up for her blunder, she began shouting “I love you” and blew kisses to Fielder-Civil as he left the dock. Then she yelled, “Love you handsome, gorgeous one” as Blake’s judge discussed the 25 year-old’s fate with the lawyers.

Or maybe she was just so coked out that she got coke-induced Turrets and couldn’t control her spontaneous mushy exclamations. We’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and say she behaved so badly because she felt badly about not exactly making it there on time. And for wearing a hideous outfit that included nappy ballet slippers, a cream-colored skirt, a dark polo shirt, and her new “I’m-a-victim-of-brain-damage” blonde do.

We seriously wish she’d get better, because we love her music! This is truly a case of someone who’s meant to be heard and not seen.

Amy Winehouse

Linda and Hulk Hogan’s Divorce Gets Nasty!

Because Linda Bollea, Hulk Hogan’s wife, believed the Hulk was up to something suspicious, she withdrew $1.5 from their bank account. According to her, a measly $1.5 million is no reason to fret because $10 million is missing from the Hogan fortune. She thinks Hulk pilfered it.

Hulk and Linda were most recently the stars of VH1’s reality show “Hogan Knows Best”. They were married for 24 years. Hulk, who is 54-years old, first heard that his wife had filed for divorce from a reporter.

Perhaps their son, Nick’s felony charge for reckless driving, helped drive the family apart. Last August, 17-year old Nick smashed one of his fancy cars into a pole, leaving his passenger and best-friend critically injured. Each member of the Hogan family had been filmed illegally street racing for their reality show, making a strong case against Nick.

Britney Spears’ Spurned Boyfriend Sells His Story

Reportedly, Adnan Ghalib is married. And he’s also told 20/20 that he’s made at least $200,000 as a Britney-following paparazzo. He didn’t even visit Britney during her brief hospital visit not long ago, during which she was on 24-hour suicide-prevention watch in a psych ward. Dude, if you don’t care if your shorty is gonna kill herself, why are you dating her? Oh yea, the $200,000 plus. Though Ghalib claims he wasn’t paid for his ET interview, we know better.

On the flip side, if she can’t have Adnan, Britney can have Kentwood. Louisiana, that is. Apparently half of the Kentwood Historical and Cultural Arts Museum is dedicated to the pop blunder. And the people there still believe in her. Isn’t that nice? Says Pam Wright, 44, who works at a Kentwood convenience store, “I cry every time I see another story about her on television. I think she needs to come home and we’ll get her right again. Everybody loves her. We believe in her.” After all these years, the good people of Kentwood are still behind Brit Brit. It only took Ghalib a month to sell Spears out. Shame on that nasty man!

Amy Winehouse Snorts Crack and Ecstasy on Film

Amy Winehouse showed up late to her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil’s court hearing on Friday, probably because she had already had a few hits. Her father released a statement basically saying that we all knew about this problem, so let’s not make such a fuss about it. It’s nothing new. Oh, but Mitch Winehouse, this is something quite new—now we have video footage to prove Amy’s a total crazy person! As if all of the stories run about her in the British tabloid, “The Sun”, hadn’t done that already. But video is the new news frontier! Especially grainy ones that involve celebrities and end up on the internet! Too bad there was no sex involved. Now that would’ve been a story!

How come Amy Winehouse can do all this stuff and Heath Ledger seems to have taken some Ambien and ended up dead?

Tori Spelling is Pregnant—Again!

Tori Spelling signed up for the NutriSystem food-delivery program and started jogging with husband Dean McDermott after giving birth to son Liam in March 2007. She had hoped to get back down to 115 lbs, which is mighty slender for the star who is reportedly 5’5.5”. While her weight-loss efforts were laudable, it looks like she can quit the diet restriction and eat for two again! Maybe by the time baby number 2 pops out, there’ll be a baby-fat zapping product on the market! Congratulations on baby number 2, Tori!

Teenager Tries to Kill Miley Cyrus With Plane

“He had some general plans where he was going and indicated where he wanted to die.” The flight was, indeed, headed toward Lafayette, Louisiana, where Miley Cyrus was scheduled to perform—but TODAY, not on Tuesday. The crazy teen did all of that research on how to hijack a plane with duct tape and rope, but apparently forgot to check the Miley Cyrus concert schedule. And so we’ve avoided a grim, Disney death. It seems like a case of the geek being jealous of the cool kid to us. Only way more demented.

Ethan Hawke’s Girlfriend Pregnant

Many people blame Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman’s former nanny, Ryan Shawhughes, for the demise of Ethan and Uma’s 6-year marriage. Now there’s proof: Ryan and Ethan are having a baby together. So who is Ryan Shawhughes? The truth is, she’s nobody, really. Just a girl who worked hard at getting a Hollywood actor to get her knocked up so she can take his money for the next 18 years without having to work. We’re sure Uma Thurman is so pleased her kids will have a half sibling.

Paris Hilton a Lesbian?

Perhaps Paris Hilton won’t dump newest BFF, Elisha Cuthbert, after only a month. After all, they did make out and stuff Tuesday night at NY hot spot, Tenjune. It would just be cruel to lead Elisha on like that. Paris has dumped other past BFFs, like Kim Kardashian, Nicole Richie, and Lindsay Lohan like last-years it-bag. She never reportedly made out with any of them, however. Maybe there’s something more to this relationship (which started when the two starred in the film, "House of Wax")? Or maybe Paris ran out of all her tricks to get attention and grabbed the closest blonde when cameras started flashing? One thing’s for certain, Paris seems to go both ways. And that’s hot!

Stars that Go Green

Will Ferrell has been a bit promoter of Toyota’s Prius. Other green, hybrid loving stars include Alicia Silverstone, Brad Pitt, Cameron Diaz, Ellen DeGeneres, Ewan McGregor, Jack Black, Harrison Ford, Jack Nicholson, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Robin Williams. The list goes on. However, stars like Brad Pitt have been documented doing such un-eco conscious things as flying from LA to Namibia in a private plane. That 9,400 mile ride alone burned 11,000 gallons of fuel. He could’ve driven his Prius to the moon and then some on that much gas. Julia Roberts, George Clooney, and Jennifer Lopez have also been known to have backhanded approaches to appearing green. They all drive hybrids on the road, then fly in private planes all over the world.

Are they being hypocrites, or should we simply believe they’re doing good by heightening peoples’ awareness of hybrid cars and alternative fuel?

Spears vs. Lutfi: Restraining Order

Lynne Spears is getting back at Sam Lutfi for “controlling” her daughter and for harassment, among other things. The Spears matriarch says in the court documents that Lutfi “"drugged Britney, he has cut Britney's home phone lines and removed her cell phone chargers. He yells at her. He claims to control everything, Britney's business manager, her attorneys and the security guards at the gate." She also claims that one night, she and her husband Jamie went to Britney’s mansion only to find the place rife with paparazzi who “reported to Sam and addressed him with great respect. They treated him like a general." So what’s Osama “Hitler of the Paparazzi” Lutfi’s next move? We shall see…

“Desperate Housewives’” Jesse Metcalfe Gets the Smack Down

Just because you’re a star doesn’t mean all of your fights are staged. Jesse Metcalfe got sucker punched and strangled to the ground last night by actress Taryn Manning’s “pseudo-boyfriend”, UK rapper wannabe, and complete nobody, Mams Taylor. Jesse got too close for comfort to Manning, sparking the altercation. The whole glorious moment, which occurred just outside the doors of Boulevard 3 nightclub in Los Angeles was caught on tape.

Ali Lohan Auditions for ‘High School Musical 3’

Will Ali Lohan win a major role in “High School Musical 3”? The first “High School Musical” is an Emmy Award-winning television movie that premiered on January 20, 2006. A TV sequel was released on August 17, 2007, and the movie’s original soundtrack was the best-selling album in the United States in 2006. Seems like tweens have completely taken over their parent’s bank accounts! The stars, Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens, are ages 20 and 19, respectively. Would little 14-year old Ali Lohan fit in with a class of 19-20 year old proposed high-school juniors? Has she ever acted in anything? We’ll see if she gets the part!

“Spamalot” Replaces Britney Spears With Posh Spice

The Lady of the Lake used to sing these lyrics in Monty Python’s musical “Spamalot”:

"I am sick of my career
Always stuck in second gear
Up to here with frustration and with fears
I've no Grammy no rewards
I've no Tony Awards
I'm constantly replaced by Britney Spears
Britney Spears!"

Because Britney Spears’ life has taken such a tragic turn, author Eric Idle decided along with director Mike Nichols that it had to be axed in favor of something more in tune with the times. The Britney Spears lyrics enjoyed a good 3-year run, though, with “Spamalot” premiering on Broadway in 2005. Now the lyrics go:

"My love life is a mess
I've got constant PMS
My career is about as hot as ice
They hate me there backstage
They say I'm too old for my age
They're trying to replace me with Posh Spice
With Posh Spice!!"

We’re jealous of Posh. “Spamalot” is the coolest—it’s quite an honor to be included!

Farrah Fawcett’s Son Busted for Drugs

Spawn of Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal, Redmond O’Neal, is a drug-addicted brat. The 23-year old was busted in January for a DUI and felony possession of hardcore drugs heroin and methamphetamine. Farrah Fawcett just returned home to Los Angeles last night after undergoing alternative treatments for cancer in Europe. She is said to have successfully beaten the cancer, but she has yet to beat her screw-up son, who is so selfish, he thought he’d use his family fortune to get high, instead of flying to Europe to help his mom through her battle.

Jamie Spears’ Co-Conservatorship over Britney Extended

Britney Spears has lost it all. She no longer has control over her own finances (did she ever really have control? She’s just lucky the funds keep coming so she’d never run out of cash!). Her dad, Jamie Spears, is in charge of her taxes and her older brother, Bryan, is in charge of her SJB Trust, a revocable living trust that holds a substantial amount of her assets.

Finally, Jamie’s lawyers have spent 200 hours trying to serve Sam Lutfi a restraining order, but the creepy guy is avoiding being served. It’s all just sad, sad, sad. We don’t even want to talk about it anymore.

Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman Party in London

Think Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman’s characters harbor some animosity toward one another in the upcoming film, “The Other Boleyn Girl”? Maybe their acting mirrors real life, as it was clear from the film’s London premiere and after party that Scarlett generates most of the attention between the two of them. See the two beauties duke it out when the movie hits theatres on February 28th. The premise of the film? Two sisters compete with each other for the affection of King Henry VIII. Should be fun!

DiCaprio’s Green TV Show Set for Early Premiere

The project was brought to Discovery by DiCaprio, a noted environmentalist, and Craig Piligian of Pilgrim Films & Television. DiCaprio will executive produce through his company, Appian Way, along with Piligian and Discovery Studios.”

Discovery Communications Founder and Chairman John Hendricks along with President and CEO David Zaslav invited DiCaprio to sit on the Planet Green Board of Advisors, which will be comprised of 18 leaders in the environmental movement in the fields of climate change, environmental science, technology, business, government, the non-profit sector, media and entertainment. DiCaprio joins current board members including The Nature Conservancy, the NRDC (Natural Resources Defense Council) and Sony’s Andrew Lack.

Spinoff of Beverly Hills, 90210?

According to unnamed sources cited by the Hollywood Reporter, the spinoff 90210 project is close to securing a writer, and the network is expected to decide by the end of the month whether to order a pilot.

Darren Star, creator of the original show and its first spinoff, Melrose Place, is reportedly not involved with the new venture.

Oprah Teaming Up With Kirstie Alley

"I'm very open with what I've been through in my own personal life, and nothing — I mean nothing — is off-limits for me to talk about. Nothing shocks me. I'm a great listener. I'm a good comedian. And I won't lie — I live a beautiful life. So I hope to bring those elements together to offer something totally fresh for the television audience," said Alley.

Tim Bennet, president of Harpo Productions, is a fan of Alley's breezy outlook. "Kirstie is a tremendous talent who is incredibly relatable and a true fan favorite, and we are thrilled to welcome her to Harpo. Audiences love her and it's easy to see why: She is always at ease. We are looking forward to working together to bring viewers everywhere her distinctive voice and comedic flair."

Jamie Lynn Spears Engaged?

A representative for Spears was unavailable for comment as World Entertainment News Network went to press.

While Jamie Lynn is due this summer, there’s no word yet on any potential wedding date.

Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt Marriage Rumors?

There were lots and lots of rumors flying around this weekend that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt got married in New Orleans on Saturday. I didn’t post about it because I didn’t believe it (although I didn’t believe she was pregnant this time, so that just shows how much I know)

Anyways, a source close to the couple told People magazine that there was “no wedding”

Another source said that the rumors are “complete and total bullshit,” and that, “they aren’t even in New Orleans”.

Pamela Anderson Says No To Canine Co-Star

Pam refused to act opposite the canine, because PETA doesn’t support using real animals in moviemaking. ‘Pam left the set and went for a walk,’ a source reports. ‘She needed a time out. She was that upset.’ In the scene, Anderson's Invisible Girl superhero character calls for her Invisible Dog. The four-legged friend becomes visible just as it jumps into her arms.”

Tori Spelling Models a Bikini 8 Months Pregnant

"So far I've gained 25 pounds and am loving my body!" Spelling, 34, told photo agency Startraks during the March 20 shoot in Beverly Hills. "I'm eating whatever my body tells me it needs and wants.

But Spelling also admitted being a pregnant mom and shooting a reality show isn't easy.

Sean Penn and Robin Wright NO Divorce

In a one-page document filed Tuesday in Marin County Superior Court, the clerk dismissed the couple's divorce petition at their request. Penn, 47, and Wright Penn, 42 have two children, Hopper Jack, 14, and Dylan Frances, 17.

Alicia Silverstone TV Comeback?

The comedy, show with a single camera, will be follow 32-year-old Karen (Silverstone) as she attempts to take care of her 16-year-old daughter (Shawkat) and her 48-year-old mother.

Silverstone has recently been involved in low-profile projects, including a nude PSA for PETA.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Expecting Twins?

A close source says "Brad can't wait - he absolutely adores little girls. And Angelina just loves seeing him and the other kids so excited and happy."